Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (296) - you totally deserved it (832)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (869) - you totally deserved it (131)
On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (920) - you totally deserved it (4582)
On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1763) - you totally deserved it (5220)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you totally deserved it (1020)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1820) - you totally deserved it (7036)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you totally deserved it (837)
On 11/20/2009 at 3:25am - love - by sadday (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9544) - you totally deserved it (1765)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1421) - you totally deserved it (9715)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I finally got out of the hospital for having Swine Flu for 3 weeks. So to celebrate, I went for a nice ride on my horse. While I was riding some birds flew in front of us and scared my horse. I am now back in the hospital because my horse ran over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11430) - you totally deserved it (1124)
On 11/19/2009 at 6:24pm - health - by ochie (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2933) - you totally deserved it (9265)
On 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8214) - you totally deserved it (2548)
On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States
Today I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12106) - you totally deserved it (491)
On 11/19/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by thenewone (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
