Im an emo dork. I have about 4-6 guys that are in love with me, and I love them too. I love [rock] music, reading, sarcasm, and that's what she said jokes. I hate traitors, liars, and cheaters of any kind. Im quite random, or can be. If you cant handle me at my worst, then you dont deserve me at my best.
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62780) - you totally deserved it (6048)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (51248) - you totally deserved it (23507)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52232) - you totally deserved it (1918)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83433) - you totally deserved it (11550)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (239795) - you totally deserved it (64303)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:57am - intimacy - by kallieco (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (216129) - you totally deserved it (238562)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you totally deserved it (56513)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (348015) - you totally deserved it (14429)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377218) - you totally deserved it (64781)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (261631) - you totally deserved it (13933)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (325005) - you totally deserved it (18039)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by misc (woman) - United States (New York)
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