If you're bored like me, then message me at: mca513m@me.com . Weirdos are appreciated! :)
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you totally deserved it (2039)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4532) - you totally deserved it (15603)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25442) - you totally deserved it (1911)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you totally deserved it (1697)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you totally deserved it (3961)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you totally deserved it (3862)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1476) - you totally deserved it (26917)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you totally deserved it (2104)
On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you totally deserved it (2121)
On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)
Today my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I could help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you totally deserved it (9344)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you totally deserved it (2370)
On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19424) - you totally deserved it (1781)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you totally deserved it (1441)
On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4206) - you totally deserved it (26898)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20880) - you totally deserved it (1325)
On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)
