I go on here for shits and giggles.
I listen to Muse, Coldplay, Secondhand Serenade, Daft Punk, Franz Ferdinand, and Yellowcard.
I'm a senior in high school and I plan on going to college for Computer Science and MAYBE minor in web design.
And don't bother sending me shit about how you want to fuck me or how hawt I am, I'm taken. :I I get the same shit every day, kthx.
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1702) - you totally deserved it (780)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you totally deserved it (4863)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11318) - you totally deserved it (1043)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (2870) - you totally deserved it (712)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you totally deserved it (1485)
On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you totally deserved it (970)
On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you totally deserved it (9738)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you totally deserved it (1399)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9885) - you totally deserved it (5814)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you totally deserved it (1013)
On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3959) - you totally deserved it (1053)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13226) - you totally deserved it (905)
On 03/03/2010 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (2373) - you totally deserved it (10161)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4986) - you totally deserved it (726)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you totally deserved it (4807)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
