Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4972) - you totally deserved it (35315)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML
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On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you totally deserved it (2401)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML
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On 12/13/2009 at 10:53pm - health - by sillygoose (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
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On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML
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On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
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On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
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On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML
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On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you totally deserved it (2450)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML
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On 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by Prego my ego - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML
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On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML
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On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
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On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he see's me I'm alone, pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML
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On 07/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by WeightAMinute (woman) - United States (Illinois)
