I'm Jaime, I love meeting new people :)
myspace.com/keepmeguessing
facebook me --> jbelman@live.com
Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you totally deserved it (79077)
On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I sent my girlfriend of 4 years a text message saying, 'I love you more than anything.' She then replies, 'Hahah! Was that a F*ing joke?' I reply, 'No, why would it be?' She then replied, 'Cause I'm talking to the girl you've been cheating with me on for five months.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (8019) - you totally deserved it (196985)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by kcus - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62009) - you totally deserved it (14789)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you totally deserved it (65991)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you totally deserved it (13467)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (116789) - you totally deserved it (13855)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you totally deserved it (9557)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11137) - you totally deserved it (33311)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you totally deserved it (16332)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you totally deserved it (126701)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidently texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiance, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19708) - you totally deserved it (26837)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
I agree, your life sucks (141355) - you totally deserved it (24361)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79869) - you totally deserved it (13454)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you totally deserved it (37460)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9830) - you totally deserved it (71316)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
