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Today, my five-year-old came home from summer camp crying because her friends and counselors had all laughed at her when she couldn't identify colors correctly during a game. My husband then confessed that he had taught her colors wrong because he thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you totally deserved it (4104)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:50pm - kids - by KWidget (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailor started out with "Most babies are accidents..." right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you totally deserved it (2282)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59166) - you totally deserved it (2708)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you totally deserved it (6423)
On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us's eyes met mine. I mouthed, "Sorry." and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be.". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you totally deserved it (7940)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, Michael Jackson died. FML
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On 06/25/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49034) - you totally deserved it (4812)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML
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On 06/23/2009 at 4:01am - misc - by Mullbull (man) - United States
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Ketchup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you totally deserved it (12039)
On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
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On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
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On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy
