This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you totally deserved it (2041)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2672) - you totally deserved it (11673)
On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you totally deserved it (1112)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you totally deserved it (1226)
On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18059) - you totally deserved it (2859)
On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I got a biology quiz back. I had drawn a dinosaur on the back of the page, asking for extra credit. When my teacher handed it to me, I turned it over to see that he had drawn a caveman shooting arrows at my dinosaur. It was bleeding. Profusely. I didn't get the extra credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3862) - you totally deserved it (18092)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Halpal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15877) - you totally deserved it (1534)
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you totally deserved it (1475)
On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you totally deserved it (3649)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you totally deserved it (5939)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you totally deserved it (3869)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you totally deserved it (2536)
On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you totally deserved it (2656)
On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3626) - you totally deserved it (52686)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8774) - you totally deserved it (25478)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
